Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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