i just google imaged poop.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
