I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
