he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
