roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
