I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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