google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
