Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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