my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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