More tranny stories later!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
