He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
