we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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