Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
