How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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