he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
