I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
