i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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