Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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