Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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