You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
