Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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