Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
