just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
