Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
