Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
