Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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