i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
