I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
