Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
