I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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