I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
