Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
