yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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