That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
