so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
