im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
