I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
