I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
