i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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