My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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