I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
