Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
