Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
