Don't you send me to vm
I cut my penus on the lid.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
