hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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