dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
