WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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