Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
