...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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