Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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