Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
