yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
